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Bridesmaid Duties 101

Published: 12/26/2009

Welcome to Bridesmaid Duties 101. Being a bridesmaid can be tough, but somebody’s gotta do it. It’s not for the faint of heart, and sometimes the job comes with unexpected responsibilities. It can also be really fun, and planning ahead makes all the difference. If you’re new to the bridesmaid world, here are three important tips to help you along way.

Know You’re Place. What are your responsibilities? Just because you’re not the Maid of Honor doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. Maybe the bride’s sister is a flake and things aren’t getting done. You might need to step up and take charge with planning showers or the bachelorette party. Or maybe the opposite is happening. Maybe another bridesmaid has got all the details planned out and just needs you to bring the fruit salad to a shower. This could also be information you learn along the way. Just be prepared for new responsibilities thrown your direction. And if you are the head cheerleader in all of this, don’t be afraid to delegate. Knowing your position in all of the pre-wedding plans can prevent potential problems in the future.

Know Your Budget. Finding out ahead of time what you’ll be spending on all the festivities will save frustration and bitter feelings later. This doesn’t just apply to bridal showers, but for other events as well. Will there be a girlie spa day for example? Does the bride want everyone to get their hair done by her stylist on the day of the wedding? These things can sneak up on you. Some things to consider when calculating costs:

- Bridesmaid dress
- Shoes for the wedding (does everyone need the same? Can you use shoes you already have?
- Throwing a bridal shower (food, decorations, plates, cups, napkins, invites, games)
- Present for the bridal shower
- Getting hair, nails, and makeup done for the wedding
- Throwing a bachelorette party (decorations, invites, transportation, games, favors, booze, entertainment)
- Gift at the bachelorette party

This list is certainly not conclusive. There could be more expenses. There could be less. It’s smart to think ahead. Hey, if money is no object, then kudos to you. That’s awesome. But most likely you’re someone who doesn’t want to spend a ton of money. Believe me, if your budget is tight and things get thrown at you last minute (“Let’s get a limo for the bachelorette party!”), it can put you in a bad position. No one wants to be the person who can’t celebrate with everyone because they can’t afford it. Plan, plan, plan ahead. Ask questions of the bride and other bridesmaids from the get-go.

A word on bridal showers and bachelorette parties: Don’t assume you know what the bride-to-be wants. Weddings can bring out the side of the bride that you’ve never seen before. This isn’t necessarily bad, just different. You might find that the bride hates shower games and wants nothing to do with them. Maybe you think it would be fun to have strippers at the bachelorette party, but she has no interest. Or maybe she’s normally a very shy girl, but wants to go completely wild! It’s all about location, location, location. Sure, you finally have matching furniture in your tiny apartment and want to show it off, but Aunt Ann’s big, modern house might be a better place to shower the bride with gifts and eat little sandwiches.

Know What to Bring on the Big Day. The wedding day has arrived, and emotions are running high. I can’t emphasize enough how helpful it is to have some music around while the bride and bridal party get ready. Bring an iPod and speakers, CD player, radio—do whatever it takes to have music playing while that girls are getting ready. Use this to create a fun, relaxed ambiance. Stay away from sad, sentimental music. You don’t want the bride or mother of the bride smearing their mascara early in the game. Also, have some cash ready for a Starbucks run. Usually someone will provide snacks, but plan ahead to pick up food, coffee, or bottled water just in case. And remember to ask the bride this question, “What do you need?” It will make the bride feel relaxed to know that you’re ready to pitch in.

A word on the reception: You must dance. As a part of the bridal party, I think it’s really important to help make the reception fun, and that usually includes dancing. There’s nothing more embarrassing than watching the bride and groom motioning people to join them on the dance floor while everyone smiles sheepishly in their seats and pretends to be having a conversation with the person next to them.

Tuck these three major points away in your pocket and you will be golden. Take it from someone who has had lots of experience in the bridesmaid department. Happy Bridesmaiding!